
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/1743683.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      F/M, M/M, Multi
  Fandom:
      Bleach
  Relationship:
      Abarai_Renji/Kurosaki_Ichigo/Kuchiki_Rukia, Abarai_Renji/Kuchiki_Rukia/
      Kurosaki_Ichigo
  Character:
      Kurosaki_Ichigo, Sado_"Chad"_Yasutora, Ishida_Uryuu, Abarai_Renji,
      Kuchiki_Rukia, Kurosaki_Karin, Inoue_Orihime
  Additional Tags:
      Threesome_-_F/M/M, Angst, Healing, Committed_Relationship
  Stats:
      Published: 2014-06-05 Updated: 2014-10-13 Chapters: 3/? Words: 7666
****** It's Hard to Love the Dead ******
by ElisAttack
Summary
     Where Ichigo learns that losing his power did not hurt as much as
     losing those his power protected.
Notes
     On Hiatus, sorry.
***** Coming Home *****
Ichigo awoke with a start, his hand grasping the air desperately, only to feel
nothing.  The dream had been so vivid.  But then again they all were.  Dreams
of fighting and purifying hollows. 
He dreamt he was holding his sword, a familiar weight in his hand.  It was
disconcerting, to say the least, to wake up and find his hand empty. 
Ichigo stared at his bare hand, the moonlight creating deep shadows and
ridges.  Flexing his fingers, he gazed at the calluses his body developed when
his soul sparred.  At least those aspects of old man Zangetsu remained, he
missed the bastard.  
He sighed, pushing off the sheets, he got out of bed.  He might as well, he
wasn't going to get any more sleep after a dream like that. 
Time for human anatomy.  As a pre-med major he was loaded with an unending
supply of things needing studying and memorizing.  Something he was eternally
grateful for, it took his mind off the other aspects of his dreams.
The beautiful aspects.
Ichigo furiously shut out the images.  He was straying into dangerous
territory, he couldn't afford to even think about them.  The lithe and strong
figures fighting beside him, holding him up, making him strong.
A drop of water landed on his anatomy text.  "Shit!" Ichigo scrambled for
tissues before the text damaged, but more and more water splashed.  He cradled
his head in his hands, as the tears ran unhindered down his arms.  He forgone
wiping them away in an effort to avoid awaking Ishida, in the next room, with
his sobs.
Ichigo shoved his sword-callused fingers into his mouth, muffling any sound,
and only when his eyes ran dry did he remove them. 
***
He awoke in the morning to the smell of burning jalapenos.
Fuck. Choking on his own fingers wasn't enough, Ishida heard him last night.
He moved his head from the desk, peeling off the paper stuck to his face, and
rubbing the gunk from his eyes.
He chanced a glance into the mirror opposite his desk, only to see the
photocopied diagram of a spleen imprinted onto his cheek.  He got up and
wobbled to the bathroom.
One head-clearing shower later, he sat at the breakfast table while Ishida
shoveled spicy scrambled eggs onto his plate.  Ishida dumped some eggs onto his
own plate then took the pan to the sink.
"How'd you sleep, Ichigo?"  He questioned as he poured cold water into the hot
pan.
"As you're aware.  Like shit."  Ichigo mumbled as he shoved food down his
throat.  He loved Ishida's spicy eggs, they almost beat Yuzu's breakfast miso. 
Almost.  And they served their purpose to make him feel better.  "But I'll deal
with it, like always."   
Ishida grunted, turning off the tap.  "What are you doing today?  It's
Saturday."
Ichigo shrugged, "I was hoping to get some studying done, the molecular bio
paper's due two weeks."
"Alright."  Ishida leaned again the counter, staring intently at him.
He could feel the Idiot's eyes digging into his forehead.
"What?"  He growled, meeting his gaze.  "Come sit down and eat your eggs before
you accidently give me an aneurysm."
Ishida ran a hand through his hair.  "Listen Ichigo, midterms will be over in a
few weeks, and I'm heading back to Karakura.  You should come too, it'll be
good for you to see your family."
Ichigo put his fork down.  He was thinking of visiting home again.  Bunkyō was
making him stir crazy, and Todai University even more.  And as much as he
didn't like to admit it he really missed Western Tokyo.  It would be good to
see some familiar sites and people. 
He scowled, he hated when the Quincy was right. "Fine." 
Ishida scoffed, "Well don't let your enthusiasm hit you on the way out." 
***
Karakura hasn't changed a bit,Ichigo thought as he stepped off of the train. 
Even the ads decorating the station are the same, and it's been 2 years since I
last visited. 
"Ichigo, c'mon, hurry up."  Ishida called out to him.
"Well maybe if someone didn't make me carry all of the luggage, by myself, I
would be faster."  He yelled.
Ishida waited for him, his hand on his waist, "Look at you, you need the
exercise."  He pointed to his stomach, "You're getting flabby."
"Fuck you."
"Oh my, do you kiss your sisters with that mouth?" 
He didn't know when Ishida became this sarcastic, but it was a development he
would have liked to have avoided.
"Ichigo!"  He looked up to see Yuzu waving at him from further down the
platform.
He smiled and wobbled all the way over.
She launched herself at him, grabbing him around the waist, and squeezing the
breath out of him.  Maybe Ishida's right, I am getting flabby.
"Hey Yuzu,"  He reached down and ruffled her hair, "How's it going?"
She buried her head in his chest, and he could just feel the moisture soaking
though his white t-shirt.  "I missed you so much!"  He felt her shoulders
shake.  "Why haven't you come home to visit?"
He scratched his head, nervously, "Well, you know pre-med's hard, I hardly have
anytime to breath as it is."
Yuzu let go of him, staring up at him with big tears in her eyes.
Oh geez.
"C'mon Yuzu, don't make me get all teary,"  He sighed, and noticed that two
people were missing from the scene.  "Hey, where's Karin and Dad?"
Yuzu wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, "Dad's at a medical convention
in Osaka, and Karin, she..."  She smiled apologetically.
Well, she has the right to be pissed.
"It's fine."  He smiled.  "Hey, how about you and I see Ishida-san to a taxi,
then we can walk back home."
Yuzu frowned, crossing her arms.  "Sheesh, you guys have been roommates for two
years, I really don't see why you call him by his last name."  
He shrugged.  "Old habits die hard."
***
When Karin saw him walk through the door, she promptly got up from her spot on
the couch, and wandered out of the living room.
Well, fuck, I'm going to have to fix that.
"Don't worry about it Ichi, talk to her, she'll come around."  Yuzu said,
reaching up, and patting him comfortingly.
He left his shoes and bags in the foyer, and walked after his disgruntled
little sister, through the clinic doors.
"Karin?"  He called out, she didn't answer.  He wandered through the hall,
until he saw a light shining under the door to his Dad's office.  "Karin?"  He
pushed open the door, and was immediately assaulted by a cacophony of office
supplies.  "Shit! Fuck!"  He dodged a stapler, but a pack of post it notes hit
him square on the forehead.  
Guess she's feeling a tad more than disgruntled.
"Fuck you Ichigo!"  Karin growled.  She picked up a discord of pens and started
lobbing them at his head.  He just barely dodged them all. 
"You're mopey for your last year in high school, then you take off for
university, and don't even come to visit."  She pointed an accusing finger at
him.  "You made Yuzu cry, you fucker!  And now you expect to come back, and
pretend everything's all hunky dory?  Well it bloody well isn't." 
She narrowed her eyes.  "I know this isn't only about losing your shinigami
powers, you got over that a long time ago."
"Karin..."
"Don't you start with your excuses.  If you don't talk to us, you'll lose your
family for good."
"Karin, it's nothing like that, I've just been busy with school work."  The
excuse sounded weak to even his own ears.
Her eyes were filled with a deep sadness, before they hardened, "Fuck off,
Ichigo." She spat.
***
Ichigo had to escape the house, between Yuzu's pretense happiness, and Karin
blatantly ignoring him at dinner, he couldn't stay there a second longer.
He meandered over to Chad's apartment.  He'd only seen his best friend once in
two years, when Chad came to visit him in Bunkyō for a week in the summer.
It had been fun, but awkward, punctuated by the fact that Ichigo knew when both
Chad and Ishida disappeared for hours on end, they could only be fighting
hollows.  Thus the awkward when Ishida tried to make excuses for where they
were.
Oh this..., this..., this is nothing, just a broken arm.  Fell down the stairs,
and Sado-san just fell right on top of me.  He's big...
Why I'm wearing my quincy uniform?  Well, there was this costume parade.  Yeah,
a midnight parade, my outfit looked wonderful in the moonlight.
There was a Menos Grande.
Well at least Chad didn't make excuses.
He knocked on his door.  It opened to reveal the man in question cradling a
convenience store bentō box, with a parrot sitting on his shoulder.
"Ichigo."  Chad, monotonous as ever.
"Hey.  What's with the parrot?"
"Oh sorry, right, introductions."  He gestured to the bird, "Ichigo this is
Suki," He gestured to Ichigo, "Suki this is Ichigo."
"Awwk!  Carrot top!"  She squawked.
Chad looked as scandalized as he could without changing his expression, "Suki,
be polite."   
"Uh..., are you sure you don't have another soul-in-a-bird there..."  Ichigo
questioned suspiciously.
Chad stared at him for a minute with his deep eyes.
"Chad?"  His friend seemed out of it, but then again, he always was.
"Yes Ichigo, I'm sure."  Chad turned sideways in the doorway and showed him
in.  "I have an extra bentō, if you should want it."
"Nah, I already ate,"  He patted his belly. "Yuzu made karashi mentaiko, my
favourite."
Chad gazed at his face, his eyes moving slowly down to look at his stomach. 
Ichigo folded his hands in front of it.  Sheesh, even Chad thinks I'm getting
fat. "Okay, I hope you enjoyed it."  He said without a trace of sarcasm.  "I'm
marathoning Carnivore Kingdom, if you should like to join me."
Ichigo grinned.  "Yeah I think I will." 
"Okay, let me first go tuck Suki in."  Chad let the room with the apparently
sleepy parrot on his shoulder.
Turns out that the main character of Chad's favourite tv show, looked exactly
like Kon.  Who knew he was a stuffed action figure?
After they finished watching the first season, Ichigo began the doze off. 
Cartoons just weren't his thing.  "Chad, I'm going to go," He got up from the
floor, and stretched. "I'll see you around."
"Ichigo, wait."  Chad went back into his room, and fetched a flyer, handing it
to Ichigo.  "Here, my band's playing in the shopping district in a few days,
you should come by and listen.
He smiled.  "Thanks, I will."  Ichigo looked down at the flyer only to see
familiar bunnies hopping around playing a variety of rock instruments.  He
stared at the horrible art, a familiar throbbing resonating in his throat.
"Rukia made it for me, before the Winter War."  Chad explained.  "I thought it
was cute, so I made it our poster."
 Ichigo just nodded, fisting the flyer in his hand, as he turned and made his
way to the door.
"Ichigo?"
He swallowed, his throat bobbing "Yeah?"
"I know you miss her and I'm sorry, but you need to move on for the sake of
your friends and family."  He paused.  "But mostly for your own sake." 
He closed his eyes, nodded again, and left the apartment.
As far as Chad knew Rukia was the whole problem, he couldn't even imagine that
she was only half. 
***
The first time Ichigo was kissed by a man was a revelation. 
They were in his room in Karakura.  He was studying for a lit test, while Renji
stretched out on his bed, thumbing through one of the ridiculously girly manga
Rukia loved. 
Ichigo glanced at Renji, who was the epitome of absorbed, studying the manga
religiously.  Ichigo sighed, "You're going to become as crazy as her if you
keep reading that shit."
Renji looked up at him, over the cover of a two characters in a tight embrace. 
"It's really interesting, Ichigo, times have truly changed."  He flipped a
page, exclaiming in awe,  "So many things are different." 
A few minutes later Renji sighed, got up, and announced that he should be
getting back to work.  "I can't come to the world of the living just to see
your pretty mug."
Ichigo grunted, turning away from him back to his textbook.  Suddenly he felt a
hand grab his task chair, spinning it around.  "Hey! What the h..."  His train
trailed off as he found Renji staring intently at him.
Renji bent down, his hands resting on the arms of the chair, casting a huge
shadow on him, as he inched even closer.  Ichigo swallowed heavily, his throat
bobbing.
Renji slowly raised a hand, trailing it along his arm, leaving shivers in its
wake, as he made its way to his  head.  He gently ran a hand through his soft
orange hair, his fingers slightly tickling his scalp. 
His brown eyes were dark and hooded, and Ichigo couldn't look away.  He was
just so damn close.
Suddenly Renji's hand firmly clamped down on the back of his neck as he swooped
in, pressing his mouth confidently against Ichigo's.  He was startled, his eyes
flew wide open, and his body jolted.  He was confused and unresponsive until
Renji licked his lip, and his body jolted in a different way.  His mouth opened
and he soon found himself relaxing into the kiss. 
He was about to reach for Renji's hip, but the man pulled away.  Leaving
Ichigo's hand dangling midair.
Ichigo gasped, blushing furiously and retracting his arm.  "What was that?!"
Renji shrugged nonchalantly.  He strode over to the bed, picked up the manga
and pointed to a panel, showing two men kissing passionately.
Ichigo frowned, "So you found it imperative to practice on me."
Renji scratched his forehead.  "Nah, wanted to do that for quite some time,
just didn't know if it was socially acceptable now, or not."
"Socially acc-" He broke off, "Wait.  You wanted to do this for some time?"
Renji had the courtesy to look sheepish.
Ichigo just stared at him, waiting for him to continue.
He sighed, "Rukia and I were talking-"
"Rukia!?"  Ichigo interrupted, his voice shrill.  "What does she have to do
with this?!" 
Renji raised a brow, "She asked me to find out if these sorts of relationships
were alright in your world, you know, since Soul Society's a bit strict."
He was almost afraid to ask.  "What sort of relationships?"
Renji shrugged, "You know polygamy, two guys going at it, that sort of stuff."
He gaped.  "Rukia asked you to kiss me?!"
Renji frowned, "Well, I may have asked her..."  He waved his hands, "Anyway,
that's not important."
"Like hell it isn't!"  Ichigo exclaimed, his voice rising a few octaves.
Renji scowled, reached out and grabbed Ichigo by the shoulder.  "Will you shut
the fuck up and let me speak, Strawberry!?  Is that too much to ask?"
Ichigo quickly rose from his chair, pushing the other man's arm away from him. 
"I don't even know what in fucking hell is going on!"  He jabbed Renji hard in
the chest,  "Are you playing a joke on me? Is this how you and Rukia get off? 
Teasing the poor human boy?"  He questioned desperately.
Renji's eyes softened, his hand reached out, cupping his face, "God no, Ichigo,
we're your friends,we care about you."
"I'm guessing this isn't the royal we?"  Ichigo asked, deflating.
Renji guffaws.  "Rukia and I,"  His thumb began stroking his face and all of a
sudden Ichigo couldn't breathe.  He sighed, explaining their situation,  "We
began this thing,"  He gestured wildly, but Ichigo understood, they were
together.  Suddenly Ichigo wondered how he managed to miss that revelation.
"But something just wasn't right."  Renji continued, grinning brightly at him. 
"You were missing."
Ichigo's breath caught in his throat.
"You should talk to her, she's always had a way with words,"  He rolled his
eyes,  "It's her Kuchki upbringing."  He laughed, his hand dropping from
Ichigo's face  "Got to go, I'll talk to you later." 
Renji jumped onto the bed and climbed out the window.  Leaving the substitute
shinigami all alone to ponder what transpired.
It wasn't a surprise that Ichigo failed the lit test.
***** Learning to Understand *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Lying in his old bed in Karakura, staring up at the ceiling, Ichigo was trying
to fall back to sleep.  After a very vivid dream of Renji propositioning him
for the first time, it made him want to cry, and laugh.  He was such an
inexperienced teenager back then.
His eyes kept wandering back to the band flyer with Rukia's drawings, taped to
his wall.
I wonder how she's doing, if she's become any stronger.  I always knew she had
it in her, even if she didn't believe it.  She was always the toughest one out
of us three, cool as a cucumber.  My Rukia.  Our Rukia.
But still a shitty artist.
Ichigo stared at one of the rabbits in the audience with a shocking head of
red, next to one with orange spikes.
Thank goodness she never brought her rabbit kink to bed, Renji might have gone
along with it.  Yikes.  
Staring at the poster slightly helped with his feelings about their whole
situation.  Some days he could barely think about them without feeling
torrentially sad.  But now he had other thoughts. 
He was actually considering going to see Chad's band.  For all his time in
Bunkyō he hardly left the house, except for classes, to go to the library, and
eat out if Ishida was feeling too torrential to cook.  He hadn't gone to a club
since Rukia and Renji dragged him to a gay bar, underage and unawares.
He laughed at that memory.  They were all unawares until Ichigo noticed that
there were more men than women.  Alot more.
For the first time in a long time, Ichigo fell asleep with a smile on his face
and a laugh on the tip of his tongue.
***
Ichigo figured, after the sordid affair that was breakfast in the Kurosaki
household, that it would be nice to go say hello to Inoue since he hadn't seen
her since graduation.
He heard some things about how she was doing from Ishida, but Ichigo barely
listened, and after a while Ishida stopped mentioning their previous life in
Karakura.
Now Ichigo had it in mind to make up for the way he acted by inviting her to
see Chad's band.  And maybe scarf down some of her food as a form of self-
repentance, considering how often she offered to shove weird food down his
throat in high school, he surmised she would be pleased by the request. 
When he knocked on the Inoue household door, it was opened by a woman he didn't
recognize.  She had the same hair and eye colour as the Inoue he remembered,
but she seemed to have aged ten years.  Her hair was cropped close to her chin
in a pageboy that just screamed sophistication, she stood taller than before
wearing a simply printed sleeping yukata,  but the familiar twinkle in her eyes
was completely gone.  Ichigo was faced with a woman totally different from the
girl he once knew.
She looked him over.  "Ichigo, you've gotten corpulent."  Her mouth twitched.
He patted his stomach, scowling, "Funny, that's what everyone says."
She guffawed, "Come in, come in."  She led him into a room totally different
from before, the only thing remaining from their highschool years was the altar
devoted to her brother's memory.  Everything else was completely westernized.
She led him to a breakfast table covered in a laptop and stacks of papers and
books.
"Don't mind the mess, I've been finishing up a manuscript for my new book, and
it's been eating away at my creative juices."  She picked up the piles of work,
hauling them to the desk in the corner.
Ichigo recalled a moment a year ago when Ishida mentioned Inoue's career,
something about historical Edo period novels.  Back then he couldn't reconcile
the girl she was with that sort of work, but now he could.  She really matured
in a few short years.
She returned to the breakfast table with a tetsubin teapot, and two ceramic
cups.  Pouring out some sencha she spoke about her novels.
"I write more about the politics, than the romance, unlike other female
novelists, it requires much research, but it's getting me attention from
abroad, and my novels are already being translated into a variety of
languages."
Remembering something else Ishida told him, he brought it up.  " Ishida
mentioned something about your first novel, how it got you a lot of good
press."    
She sipped her tea, smiling, "Yes, Empty Demon.  She was my baby, and for all
the hard work I put into writing her, she won me the Naoki Sanjugo Prize."
Ichigo was impressed, Inoue was always among the top students in their classes,
but that prize usually went to slightly older writers with postsecondary
degrees in literature.
She smiled at his raised eyebrows, "You could say I drew my inspiration from a
residency in hell,"  She picked up her tea sipping it.  Changing the subject
she continued, "How about you?  How's Todai treating you?"
That cued Ichigo to go onto a tangent about how much he hated his strict
professors, but loved learning so much. 
Inoue smiled indulgently at him. "That's wonderful, I've been thinking of
moving to Tokyo, now that I can afford it, but Sinead keeps telling me that
cities are horrible places to live.  I'd also desperately miss Karakura.   
Ichigo was puzzled by the foreign name "Who's Sinead?"
 She pointed him to a picture on a shelf of a foreign woman with the blackest
hair, palest skin, and the most haunted green eyes Ichigo had ever seen, and he
suddenly remembered a battle in Hueco Mundo he was sure to never forget.
"She's the English translator of my work."  Inoue smiled like the sun, her eyes
lighting up like they did whenever she used to look at him in their youth. 
"She's been trying to get me to move to Ireland, but I love the climate in
Japan, and she visits enough."  
Does Inoue know that she's in love with a woman that looks exactly like the
monster that stole her away and tortured her?   
Some of his confusion must have showed on his face because Inoue stared at him
with eyes wiser than her years,  "I know, Ichigo, I know who she looks like,
but that isn't the only reason."  She sighed.  "I communicated with her through
telephone calls and emails for months before I met her in person.  Her looks
just made me feel more."
Ichigo was shocked.  "But, wouldn't that make you...  Didn't he hurt you...?"
She studied him as an exasperated parent does a child  "You wouldn't
understand, Ichigo."  She patted him on the shoulder as she took the empty tea
set to the kitchen.  "Not everything's black and white." 
When Ichigo left Inoue's house, after her agreeing to go see Chad's band, all
he could recall was Ishida's words after a particularly vicious argument in his
freshman year.  When he decided not to return to visit Karakura for the summer,
Ishida exploded at him.  The words had no effect on him then, but now he was
starting to wonder when the Quincy became so damn smart. 
"The world doesn't revolve around you, Ichigo.  People won't wait for you.  If
you don't move along with it you'll be left sagging behind in the dust."
Ichigo walked along the Karasu river to the Karakura shopping district, where
he found a bookstore and purchased a novel with a cover image of a crescent
moon sweeping cold, white light through a high barred window, into a pitch dark
room.
He opened the book and began reading it on the walk back to the clinic.  He
wanted to understand.
***
The first time Ichigo went out on a date, he had to pay way for three people.
"What do you expect carrot top, it's not as if we have any money." Rukia raised
her eyebrow, sucking her Slurpee down with bravado.
This thing, whatever he was getting into, was going to be fucking expensive.
"Hey, gimme that."  Renji reached out for Rukia's treat, but she danced out of
his arms reach.
"Fool, if you wanted one, you should have just asked Ichigo."  She took a loud
obnoxious slurp.  "Go get your own."
"Nope, too late, Renji, my pockets are officially closed for the evening."  He
stated, purposely tucking his wallet back into his pants.  "The movie tickets
alone drained me of half a month's wages helping in the clinic."
"Don't complain Ichigo."  She gave him a heavy look through her dark lashes. 
"We'll find some way to repay you."
He turned a bright shade of crimson, as Rukia laughed her mirth, striding
confidently though the cinema.
Ichigo turned to face Renji, and what he saw in his eyes shot a bolt of
electricity through his whole body.  They were black and voracious as they
stared at Rukia's retreating form.  Ichigo heart sped up dangerously when he
found those eyes turn to gaze at him, but before he could act, Renji winked and
broke away, running after Rukia.
I'm about to spend two hours in a dark theatre with those two sitting beside
me.  He didn't know if he was terrified or excited.
In truth, he was terribly uncomfortable.  Renji spent the whole entire time
staring at Ichigo with his arm resting on the back of his head, fingers
twiddling with his hair, instead of watching the screen.  Slightly
understandable considering that it was a shitty rom-com picked by Rukia.    
Rukia on the other hand, was busy with her hands.  While her eyes were watching
the film, her hands went everywhere. 
Ichigo's whole body was straight and stiff as a tree.  He completely ignored
Renji and his piercing eyes that just screamed 'make out with me!'  And he
folded his legs as to tuck his more sensitive bits away from Rukia's
administrations.
It was a complete relief when 15 minutes into the film his hollow badge went
off when the main characters were cuddling, in a quiet, supposedly touching
scene.  He shot out of his seat and took off without even a 'by your leave.'
The two shinigami went right after him, straight into the men's bathroom, where
popping out of their bodies, Ichigo instructed the two gigai to take his body
back to the theatre and pretend that he'd fallen asleep.
Time to slay a hollow, or two, or five.  It was a very busy night.  
By the time they made it back to the theatre the film was almost over, and his
body was laid out, flat on the two gigai's laps, being petted and prodded by
them. 
When Ichigo finally jumped back into his body he could feel the pressure of a
seat arm jammed into the small of his back for days afterwards.
Chapter End Notes
     The Naoki Sanjugo Prize is one of the most prestigious literary
     awards in Japan, its prizes include a fancy new watch and a million
     yen.
***** Insecurities *****
Chapter Notes
     Kubo's Orihime is so static, she has the potential to become so much
     more, but he never explores that possibility, and I really resent
     that, I'm really looking forward to exploring her as a character.
     Although the whole story won't be about her, don't worry.
     I still feel uncomfortable with Ichigo's age in the beginning on the
     manga, let's make him 17, instead of 15, so at least my conscience
     can slightly rest, because things are going to get dirty soon ;)
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Inoue's novel Empty Demon described the image of a girl Ichigo once knew, and
her development into the woman she was now. Ichigo was entranced; he could see
why Inoue was an award winning author. He couldn't put down the book until he
read it all the way through.
To Ichigo, growing up, Inoue Orihime was always a background figure, not quite
a friend, but also a bit more than just classmates. She was Tatsuki's friend,
the girl always watching by the dojo sidelines. Ichigo associated her with
Tatsuki, in his mind she was never her own person.
Even when his shinigami powers emerged, along with her spiritual power, she was
never Inoue Orihime, she was a person in need of protection, a fragile girl
with a sad past.
He could not help but pity her. He realized this early on, because when Tatsuki
informed him of her small crush, the first thing that popped into his head was
"why?"
Why the fuck would a girl crush on a boy that treated her like she was part of
the scenery? It was incomprehensible to him, an unexplained enigma, so he
ignored it, along with her feelings.
It was only now that Ichigo realized why Inoue felt that way. She was
incomplete herself. A person built upon experiences that would make a grown man
weep. But yet she fooled herself trying to be happy, and she didn't need to try
hard at it. She just was so full of empty emotions.
It was only the arrancar, the demon that stole her away, that made her feel
something real.
Despair.
For once she was not the one in need of rescue, she was doing the rescuing.
Sacrificing herself, going to Hueco Mundo, a place deeper and darker than her
own heart, and meeting a creature so full of nihilism, he defined the word. She
finally understood.
No fate is worse than his, to feel absolute and total nothingness.
She needed to become more, to counteract the demon. She defined herself,
pulling together, accepting that the love she felt for the boy that was her
hero, was nothing more than jealousy for his strength, and her weakness. She
was ugly and horrible on the inside, and she needed to accept that, so she
could finally move past it, and become who she was meant to be. Herself.
Strength came with that acceptance. The moment Tesra Lindocruz put her arms
around her, restricting her moment, was the moment she called forth her power
and negated his existence. Rejecting him, and freeing all the souls that made
up his hollow existence.
She became more. More than the medic, more than the girl in the background. She
could hate. And that took away the fear.
Ichigo could relate to that.
So two days later, and ripe full of some understanding, he went to Chad's
performance.
The bar Chad's band regularly played in was a dive; worn, rugged, and in a
committed love/hate relationship with the community.
The decor consisted of mostly plastic palm trees in various colours and a
garish tiki bar. The current owner had a strong appreciation for the Okinawa
lifestyle. He was especially fond of habu vipers preserved in awamori alcohol,
which he tried to push Ichigo to buy before he settled on an imported beer. The
man eventually moved on, pushing the habushu onto other unwary customers.
Ichigo found a nice empty booth in a corner far from the stage. Keigo found him
first. It almost seemed like he was searching for him, since Ichigo barely even
sat down before the man barreled up to him, almost running him over.
"Ichigo, you're back!"
"Nice to see you too."
"So what's it like in Tokyo? Are the girls hotter?"
Same old Keigo. Ichigo ignored the blatant question, moving on.
"Hey, where's Mizuiro? You guys used to be attached arm and leg."
A shadow appeared on Keigo's face, disappearing just as fast.
"He moved to Tokyo." He stated bluntly.
"Then, wouldn't he be able to tell you about the girls in Tokyo?" Ichigo was
genuinely confused.
"We don't really keep in touch anymore." Keigo shrugged, changing the subject.
"Anyway Ichigo, you're here for the Boys From Okinawa, yeah?"
Ichigo paused. Something was going on with Mizuiro, he knew if would nag away
at him untill he found out what it was. But he pushed those thoughts out of his
head, and answered Keigo's question. "Yup, Chad's band, he invited me."
"You don't mind if I join you, do you?"
Ichigo figured the question was rhetorical since Keigo pushed and shoved his
way into the small booth without permission.
"Tatsuki's supposed to show up soon." The stingy bastard stated, taking a long
pull off Ichigo's beer.
Ichigo visibly flinched. He had a feeling that their reunion would involve even
more violence than Karin's and his.
***
The first time Ichigo went to a club, he was underage and discovered something
unbelievable about Rukia.
"Oh come on, Ichigo, you could pass for a 30 year old if you wanted to, 22
isn't much of a stretch." Rukia said as she tried to hand him the false
identification. "Personally they'll have a hard time believing my ID says I'm
20."
"What if we get caught?!" He shrilled. "It will go on my record, and I won't
get into Todai!" Which was precisely why he was in this part of Tokyo, to write
the Tokyo University entrance exam. However, after he finished writing what he
found to be a ridiculously easy exam, Rukia showed up at the hotel in her gigai
to celebrate.
"Don't be absurd, these IDs were made by Urahara, there is no way you'll get
caught." Rukia shoved the card into his hand. "Also Renji's coming and I didn't
even bother buying him one. The bastard looks ancient." Her hands fussed over
the navy button up shirt she put him in, undoing the top two buttons. "Plus you
look smoking." She winked at him.
He blushed, trying to change the subject. "Why isn't he here yet?"
As if he planned it, Renji poked his head through the hotel window. "Sorry I'm
late. Taichou held me up with some unexpected paperwork."
Rukia scowled at him. "You were supposed to help Ichigo, I haven't had time to
put on my dress." She waved her hands. "But no matter, better late than never.
Did you bring your clothes?." Renji nodded. "Good, put them on, I'll be back."
She walked over to the bathroom.
Ichigo turned to find Renji staring at him. "You look smoking." He commented.
Ichigo grinned. "That's what she said."
"Who Rukia?"
Ichigo frowned. "No, well...yeah, I guess you wouldn't get it."
Renji smiled at him. "No I got it, you said it in the wrong context."
Ichigo frowned. "At least we can say I'm not becoming my perverted father
anytime soon." He turned to face the mirror, fixing his collar. In the
reflection, he saw Renji lean against the night table. "Hey, aren't you going
to put on your clothes? You can't go to a club in your shihakushō."
He saw Renji get up and walk towards him. Gripping his shoulder he turned
Ichigo around to face him. "Here lemme help." But instead of fixing his collar,
he draped his heavy arms over Ichigo's shoulders, their faces an inch away.
"Umm, Renji..?" Ichigo stuttered. "You're crinkling it more."
He raised an eyebrow, whispering suggestively, he said, "I'll crinkle you
more."
They heard a snicker. "Renji, that was terrible." Rukia said as she walked in
through the doorway.
"It's so much fun to tease him." Renji grinned, leaning in, he pressed a soft
kiss on Ichigo's mouth, letting go of his shoulder's. "Here let me help you
with that zipper."
Renji moved out of the way, and Ichigo got his first good look at Rukia's
dress, only to have his mouth fall open in shock.
The dress ended mid thigh, so her long legs were fully on display strapped into
tall stilettos, exhibiting her milky glowing skin. She was utterly radiant. The
cornflower colour and the soft fabric showed off her willowy figure, all the
while hugging her minimalist curves. The neck plunged open to her belly, and
Ichigo could tell right away she wasn't wearing a bra. But that mostly had to
do with the fact that Renji hand was right in the gap, disappearing in the
folds of fabric over her chest.
Rukia didn't seem to care the slightest. Her hands were in her hair, pulling up
the strands into a messy updo, when she finished, however, she lightly slapped
his now wandering hand away from her lower belly.
Ichigo snapped out of his daze when he noticed Rukia untying the obi of Renji's
shihakushō, pushing the cloth off of his shoulders, revealing long glorious
tattoos. "Ichigo." Rukia called out to him. "Bring me Renji's bag."
He grabbed said item, handing it to Rukia. She pulled out a black v neck,
tossing it at Renji, and a pair of jeans. "Hey! How come he gets the plain
clothes and I have to put up with this goddamn collar." Ichigo questioned,
noticing the fundamental differences between Renji's and his clothing.
Rukia scowled. "Maybe when you grow long hair and get tattoos you won't have to
supplement your look as much, but until then, you get the collar."
Ichigo tugged at it frowning, only to see Renji pull his hair out of its tie.
Damn he's beautiful. He hated when Rukia was right, the pineapple looked
amazing with his fire engine hair framing his face. And I just have this damn
collar.
The walk from the hotel was only a few blocks, but between the catcalls aimed
at Rukia and the death glares Ichigo and Renji tossed at the offenders, it took
them much longer than it should have.
"Here we are." Rukia stopped them pointing to the building with the huge neon
sign in the front. "The Blue Oyster." She stated proudly. "The internet says
that this is a great place."
The bouncer looked over Ichigo's ID with a cursory glance while studying
Rukia's more thoroughly as she stood off to the side with a bright smile
plastered on. It was only after they made it inside that Ichigo realized the
patrons of the club were predominantly male.
Not only was the crowd predominantly male, but there was also a lot of men
dancing the tango to a song Ichigo partially recognized as Bimbó something.
And lots of leather, lots, and lots, of leather.
"Uh, Rukia... Are you sure the internet says this is a great place?"
"Yes, Ichigo, come on." She tugged him by the arm to the bar. "This place is so
gay, everyone says the atmosphere is very happy."
"Um, I think you're using the absolutely wrong connotation of that word."
Renji claps his hand on Ichigo's shoulder. "Don't be such a spoilsport." Says
the guy who looks like, with a little more leather, he could fit right the fuck
in.
Ichigo's wearing a collared douchebag shirt for fucks sake.
He notices Renji getting a few appreciative stares from the crowd, while Rukia
was getting double takes all around, apparently women were not usually part of
the scenery.
Rukia dragged Ichigo, sliding him into one of the stools, and ordered something
from the bartender who was wearing what Ichigo refused to call nipple clamps.
Renji stood beside them, leant down to ear level and said "I'm going to go
dance." He kissed Rukia on the cheek, and squeezed Ichigo's butt, which nearly
made him jump ten feet in the air, and left with an airy laugh.
"That man, I swear, will be the death of me." He whispered, rubbing his neck.
Rukia smiled at him as their drinks appeared with a flourish.
"I can't believe you don't know what this bar was with all the crap you read."
She smiled even wider.
Ichigo's mouth gaped right open. "You bitch. You knew exactly where you were
dragging us." He sighs. "Why a gay bar?"
"I figured you might like it, and fit right in."
Ichigo was surprised, Where did that thought come from? Did she think he was
gay? He was quite sure he was 100% bisexual, thank-you very much.
"Rukia, I swear to you I am so attracted to you. I'm not with you for whatever
reason you think I am." He says a little desperately. How could she think I
wasn't crazy about her, she's so fucking beautiful.
"I know you bloody idiot, I'm just teasing you." She smiles brilliantly, her
mouth twisting into Ichigo's favourite crooked smile. "Renji wanted to come.
They don't have clubs like this in Soul Society."
Ichigo smirked. "I thought this was supposed to be my reward?"
"Renji figured that you would enjoy it too." He gestured over her shoulder, and
Ichigo turned to look.
Renji was on the dance floor, twisting and gyrating his body, as fluid and
strong as when he fights, but with an edge of sensuality around him, everyone
was staring at him in awe.
When he noticed Ichigo looking, he crooked his fingers, giving Ichigo a look
that went straight to his dick.
Rukia continued. "Renji is gay, and that aspect of him is completely and
utterly ignored in Soul Society. They have strict policies like Earth's
American don't ask, don't tell, except even worse. He can have his shinigami
powers removed forcibly if anyone found out."
Ichigo, shocked, swung his head back to her. "What?! Rukia, I'm pretty sure
he's not gay, he seems to be quite alright with you." He remembers the hand
shoved down her dress earlier tonight.
She shrugged. "He's just used to me. It's why our relationship never worked out
in the long run. Don't get me wrong, we care about each other more than friends
would, but he isn't attracted to me." She stirred her girly drink, refusing to
look into his eyes. "It's why we need you."
Ichigo was stunned and insulted. "Fuck you. I won't be the mediator between you
two." He could feel his heart breaking.
"No, no! Ichigo, that's not the only reason! We care about you the same way.
You mean so damn much to us, don't you fucking undersell yourself. You are
worth so damn much." She grabs his hand in a death grip, her eyes screaming in
desperation.
He believes her, he always believes Rukia. She is his mentor, his strength
whenever he couldn't bring himself to fight. She gave up so much for him, he
can't not believe her.
Rukia. Strong, amazing, beautiful Rukia, was insecure. He couldn't even
consider it.
Determined, he bends down to her height, and presses his lips to the crease in
between her eyebrows, waiting until it finally smoothes away. He kisses her
tiny nose next, eliciting a small scoff. Ichigo moves his hands up to cradle
her neck, Rukia's heart speeds up exponentially, when he removes his mouth from
her nose, slotting it against her perfectly supple lips, pressing soft kiss
after soft, chasing away her worries. He pulls off of her with a stupid grin.
"And please believe me when I tell you, Renji isn't gay, you may be an
exception to his rule, but he is still so bloody attracted to you. Believe me,
I've seen him look like he wants to eat you right up."
She turns a delightful shade of pink. The brush spreading down her neck to her
chest, Ichigo chasing it with his eyes.
Renji picks the perfect time to pop up, not looking sweaty or ruffled in the
slightest. He grabs Ichigo's untouched coke and rum, tossing it back with a
simple flip of his head.
Renji slams the glass back onto the bar inciting a stern look from nipple
clamps. "Whoo! That hit the spot." He grins at the two of them, happiness
spilling out from his pores. "You won't believe what the boys have been
teaching me." He waves his hands at a group of men tight leather cop costumes,
who wave right back at him. Ichigo isn't sure he wants to know.
Renji grabs Rukia's hand pulling her off to the dance floor, she blushes even
harder as Renji winks at Ichigo "Watch this, babe."
Renji pulls Rukia right up to his front. Forget about room for god, there was
no room for air in between them. He guides her beautifully across the floor,
smoothly and perfectly in a tango.
Renji dips her down low, Rukia's hair just barely misses sweeping floor,
pressing a lingering kiss right between her breasts. Ichigo can see her turn
even redder, her eyes widening. Renji pulls her up, his face unreadable, and
presses even closer to her. Rukia's eyes comically wide as Renji so obviously
grinds into her stomach.
Renji grabs her hand from where it was gripping his, and pulls it down to his
butt, as he lifts one of her legs, resting the inside of her thigh on his hips,
her dress riding dangerously high.
Ichigo starts to think Renji heard everything that transpired between Rukia and
him, because he runs the palm of his hand flat down her pale leg, gripping it
and pulling her along with the music, her other leg dragging behind her.
It was so damn hot. The two of them so in sync with each other. It was taking
all of Ichigo's nonexistent self control to not pop a stiff one as Renji inched
his way up higher on Rukia's thigh revealing more and more creamy skin, as he
continued to grind into her stomach.
When the song finally ended both Renji and Rukia were out of breath, panting
and sweating. Rukia's hand resting lightly on Renji's chest. He was still out
of breath as he grabbed her by the back of the neck and pulls her up to his
height, sandwiching her hand between them, and making her stand imbalanced on
her toes. He kisses her open mouthed and filthy. Tongue licking up into her
mouth with a ferocity Ichigo only sees when he fights. Rukia melts against him,
her hands and toes curling as she reciprocates with a passion so strong it
blows his mind.
When they finally break apart with a dirty pop all Ichigo could hear was
clapping and wolf whistles.
After the night is over, and they make it back to the hotel, the two of them
insist on staying the night, "Just to sleep." Rukia assures him.
They take turns in the shower, too tired to do more than light heartedly grope
each other, falling together onto Ichigo's bed.
He hears, before he falls asleep, Renji whispering into Rukia's hair. "How
could you think I never wanted you? I thought you didn't want me. It's why I
never pursued anything. I thought you didn't find me attractive."
Rukia curls her body tighter around Renji. "You fucking idiot." She whispers.
Ichigo smiles. "You're both fucking idiots."
Chapter End Notes
     Anyone who is a fan of Police Academy would totally get the Blue
     Oyster reference. I'm trying to bring more LGBT issues into the work,
     cuz gods know people are weirdly accepting in fanfiction, it doesn't
     seem real, or as real as one can get in a fandom full of shinigami.
     This is Rukia's dress, but instead of black, cornflower
     http://www.lulus.com/products/take-the-plunge-black-dress/106314.html
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